would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
