Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
