mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He did a backflip because drugs
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