There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
