You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
