ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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