sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
