where am i from again
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
