Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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