So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
