I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
