If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
