Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
