Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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