After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
