You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
