I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
