You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
