Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
