Pappa wants mamma naked
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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