OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
