apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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