all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
