...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
