Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
