That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
