He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
