I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
