i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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