and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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