I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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