Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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