how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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