I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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