her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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