White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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