Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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