check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
