I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
plz talk dirty to me
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
