found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
