eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
