Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
