dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
