So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
