He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
