I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
