I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
