exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
