You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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