My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
