I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
