I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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